Published in Big Hyderabad August 2009
Going for a movie in a multiplex? Be ready to go down half a kilometer at a 60 degree gradient at 25 kmph into a tunnel for eight minutes to reach the parking space. Of course, wait for your turn at the ‘automatic electronic mechanized smart sensor-activated hydraulic gate’, where 27 cars are already honking, asking you to make way.
Movie watching in Hyderabad is as tough as movie making. Both involve a lot of planning, co-ordination, logistics etc. Even a year ago, you could just decide after dinner to catch a movie. You call friends, folks, neighbor’s and even neighbor’s dog to watch a movie. Pile into a car, descend on the ticket counterwalah and then watch the movie. Simple.
Now, it is a four hour ordeal, almost like flying from one place to the other. First, you can’t just walk into a theatre like that. Either tickets are booked by some corporate for his employees, or have been booked by fans. If it is a good movie, the blackmarketeers have bought the tickets. Moral of the story: Plan in advance.
Now, you have to go down half a kilometer at a 60 degree gradient at 25 kmph speed into a tunnel for eight minutes to reach the parking space. There, by the time you await the ‘automatic electronic mechanized smart sensor-activated hydraulic gate’, about 27 cars are already honking, asking you to make way while the automatic electronic… thingy takes its own sweet time to give you the parking ticket. Now, you need to walk up 900 metres, wait for the lift for seven minutes, ride up six floors for four minutes to reach your multiplex floor. No, we haven’t gotten half-way through.
Now, you are the 12th person in the line for the security check. Sorry, now you are the 4th person in the women’s line. But wait, now you will be ushered into a dingy 1x1 feet make-shift room where the stern and indifferent woman will feel you up with her gloved hands. Thank God. I am a safe human being to the mall.
Now, you are the 12th person in the line for the security check. Sorry, now you are the 4th person in the women’s line. No, I am not repeating myself. The previous security check was for the mall. Now, you are undergoing a second round of scans for the multiplex. You are let in after being declared safe.
Finally, when you settle down to watch the movie, you will listen to ‘Too hi To Jannat Meri ring tones four times, Bommaalee two times and a tinny version of unreleased Josh title song one time. After the ringtones of the one sitting four seats to the right of you and the one in the second row ahead of you, the movie begins.
After the movie, the ride is no less thrilling. Two escalators, two lifts, four minutes of waiting for the lift; walking through the basement for seven minutes while hearing 80 cars honk at you for going slow and obstructing the traffic… Finally, when you do get on to the main road after that thrilling uphill drive while honking maniacally, the movie experience is over. This is what is called movie drama in real life!
Aug 19, 2009
Aug 17, 2009
Movie review of Anjaneyulu
The one liners are spicy and heady – like Martini shots. The wise just enjoy his dialogues and walk out. The ones who sit through and complain are otherwise. For more look up
http://www.upperstall.com/films/2009/anjaneyulu
http://www.upperstall.com/films/2009/anjaneyulu
Aug 4, 2009
Magadheera movie review
It was almost a pressure cooker like situation for Ramcharan. First, the title sounded deceptively like his Dad Chiranjeevi’s movie Magadheerudu. Next, they inserted a super duper hit song from the Megastar’s super hit movie remixed to check his dancing prowess. Then, they even got Dad in a cameo to add to the weight. But to his credit, Ramcharan breaks out of the steam and the weight to come out with a movie that deserves a whistle. Magadheera is a must watch and a mast watch! More at http://www.upperstall.com/films/2009/magadheera
Jul 22, 2009
Less Style More Life Guru
Thank you dear recession for giving us back the good old days.
Published in Big Hyderabad, July 2009
Dear Recession!You are a stranger to us. We haven’t known each other for too long, have we? Just at the beginning of last year, when we were all having pipe dreams about owning farm houses on the Vikarabad highway and moving into gated communities on the Warangal highway, we were introduced to you. Recession, they said, had hit us. The word, incidentally, rhymes with repercussions. That’s not a nice word at all. A word my boss uses when I go wrong and he asks me with a nasty face whether I know of the ‘repercussions’ of my actions!
Till last year, it was Thank God It’s Friday. This year, the line is ‘Oh God, it’s the month end again’. Lifestyle split into two words. Style flew out of the window and life remained. Birthdays meant the office sponsoring a lunch at a place where they ask you ‘mineral’ or ‘regular’. We used to choose the former. Celebrations meant gifts and return gifts for all. A wedding anniversary was about a booze and snooze party at a friend’s farmhouse where he would sponsor the eats. A holiday meant buying expensive souvenirs without haggling for it. Salary was roughly divided into EMIs, Credit Card payments and since there was nothing much left, it again meant applying for fresh loans and paying through credit cards. Saving was a word that we associated with washing powder ads where they talk about saving Rs 3 on every packet of washing powder. All that before we met you!
Now, we celebrate birthdays at home and pass on a box of Kaju Barfi (Rs 400 a kilo, sob sob) and get free online cards into the email inboxes from friends. Clothes for the birthday meant giving a gift from an old granny to the good old tailor and get it done a day before the D-day. Where have those days of walking past malls, trying out clothes in changing rooms and coming up to show off the loot. But I guess, it’s not so bad after all. At least, we now spend just one-tenth of what we used to, a year ago.
Designer clothes have given way to tailor-made ones. Expensive Sunday afternoon lunches have been replaced with a chat session in the street corner. The car sits decked up in the parking slot with a gleaming silver nylon cover on it as two-wheelers with maha mileage and fuel savings move us around. Holidays meant flying off to crowded destinations and blowing up a few hundred thousands for a weekend. Now, it’s a quick drive on the weekend, preferably to a pilgrim place where we can ask God to send recession packing away. Weekends used to be a trip to the resort telling friends and folks we are not available. Now, it’s a potluck lunch over a game of Rummy and scrabble and cups of hot masala chai. Trips to the malls have plummeted and visits to parents, chachas and maasis have grown.
Yes, we don’t have much style left. It is about living grassroots and spending only on what we need. But thank you dear recession! It is because of you that we have less style, more life guru!
Published in Big Hyderabad, July 2009
Dear Recession!You are a stranger to us. We haven’t known each other for too long, have we? Just at the beginning of last year, when we were all having pipe dreams about owning farm houses on the Vikarabad highway and moving into gated communities on the Warangal highway, we were introduced to you. Recession, they said, had hit us. The word, incidentally, rhymes with repercussions. That’s not a nice word at all. A word my boss uses when I go wrong and he asks me with a nasty face whether I know of the ‘repercussions’ of my actions!
Till last year, it was Thank God It’s Friday. This year, the line is ‘Oh God, it’s the month end again’. Lifestyle split into two words. Style flew out of the window and life remained. Birthdays meant the office sponsoring a lunch at a place where they ask you ‘mineral’ or ‘regular’. We used to choose the former. Celebrations meant gifts and return gifts for all. A wedding anniversary was about a booze and snooze party at a friend’s farmhouse where he would sponsor the eats. A holiday meant buying expensive souvenirs without haggling for it. Salary was roughly divided into EMIs, Credit Card payments and since there was nothing much left, it again meant applying for fresh loans and paying through credit cards. Saving was a word that we associated with washing powder ads where they talk about saving Rs 3 on every packet of washing powder. All that before we met you!
Now, we celebrate birthdays at home and pass on a box of Kaju Barfi (Rs 400 a kilo, sob sob) and get free online cards into the email inboxes from friends. Clothes for the birthday meant giving a gift from an old granny to the good old tailor and get it done a day before the D-day. Where have those days of walking past malls, trying out clothes in changing rooms and coming up to show off the loot. But I guess, it’s not so bad after all. At least, we now spend just one-tenth of what we used to, a year ago.
Designer clothes have given way to tailor-made ones. Expensive Sunday afternoon lunches have been replaced with a chat session in the street corner. The car sits decked up in the parking slot with a gleaming silver nylon cover on it as two-wheelers with maha mileage and fuel savings move us around. Holidays meant flying off to crowded destinations and blowing up a few hundred thousands for a weekend. Now, it’s a quick drive on the weekend, preferably to a pilgrim place where we can ask God to send recession packing away. Weekends used to be a trip to the resort telling friends and folks we are not available. Now, it’s a potluck lunch over a game of Rummy and scrabble and cups of hot masala chai. Trips to the malls have plummeted and visits to parents, chachas and maasis have grown.
Yes, we don’t have much style left. It is about living grassroots and spending only on what we need. But thank you dear recession! It is because of you that we have less style, more life guru!
Jul 19, 2009
Movie review of Kalavaramaye Madilo
Kalavaramaye Madilo (KM) is like the biriyani your younger sister made on your birthday. The effort is honest and genuine, but the result is not exactly what you would rave about. More on http://www.upperstall.com/films/2009/kalavaramaye-madilo
Jul 6, 2009
Yo to Oy - Movie review of Oy
The Telugu audiences seem to be in a good mood and Oy may just go on to be the DDLJ of Tollywood. Like an ice cream that starts with a soft, juicy cherry on the top to the crunchy waffle at the end, Oy is like a yummy dessert that lingers on in the mouth. For more read the review at http://www.upperstall.com/films/2009/oy
Jul 3, 2009
AGONIES AND ECSTASIES OF AN EDIT PIECE
Published in October 2008, Big Hyderabad
Words simply seem to stop somewhere between my eyebrows giving me a migraine up there on my head. Writing an edit is not all that easy sometimes
Every day is not Sunday.
Every movie of Amitabh Bachchan is not a blockbuster.
Aishwarya Rai does not look great in every outfit.
AR Rahman also has a bad air day and belts out average numbers
Shahrukh also has hit rock bottom with his movies.
See, even the super stars of the world falter. The greatest of them tail off in their output.
The super duper successes have had their share of down days.
So how can a diminutive editor come up with great edits every single time, issue after issue, edit after edit?
After the issue comes out, my colleagues tell me ‘It wasn’t like the last issue’ and
it feels like a prick on a balloon. Until the next Edit comes out, the bitter feeling lingers on.
On the face of it, it looks so easy. To write 460 words every month about anything I like. Put in my opinion and pass it off as an Edit. I would probably be among the privileged few if it were all so easy.
As the month trickles down to its last week, there is a nagging ache in my head. At the back of mind, the keywords keep scrolling left to right, like a lazy news ticker after the commercials stop on the 24-hour news channels. No luck yet. What can I possible write about the T20 cricket mania especially since Deccan Chargers have hardly made any breakthrough so far? Somebody at office suggests I talk about the summer in Hyderabad because we are Big Hyderabad. Huh! What about summer. Maybe I should just compare sultry, crowded and complicated Mumbai to lazy, laidback (yawn, yawn) Nawabi… and be done with this month. Oh, that’s been written a zillion times.
Emails from office stating that the Edit is pending pour into my mailbox. Gentle calls and reminders. The damn keywords refuse to take in a concrete shape. Writer’s block!
I open an empty Microsoft Word and grandly name it Big Edit and type our some random Xs and Ys give them my favourite font (usually Comic Sans J and my kind of font (usually 24) and pray fervently that some brilliant idea will dawn upon me. Words simply seem to stop somewhere between my eyebrows giving me a migraine up there on my head.
We are just two days before we put the edition to sleep and send it to print. Zero progress. I decide to sit late night to finish it. Still only three characters (two Xs and one Y) on my MS Word file. I toss and turn at 3 am and walk around to get a glass of water. I peek through the window and hear the police patrol. Maybe I should write about how the police take such good care of our area. I try to think nice things about life at the dead of the night….
The brilliant summer sun rays hit my face and the dreaded fifth of the month has finally dawned. I switch on the television and walk past the room to get hold of the remote on the table. My ankle hits the chair’s leg and an idea sparks off. The travails of an editor!
In the next 18 minutes, 568 words fast and thick. It may not be the best Edit, but it certainly one that has had its share of hard work. Too bad if you don’t appreciate all the work!
-ends
Words simply seem to stop somewhere between my eyebrows giving me a migraine up there on my head. Writing an edit is not all that easy sometimes
Every day is not Sunday.
Every movie of Amitabh Bachchan is not a blockbuster.
Aishwarya Rai does not look great in every outfit.
AR Rahman also has a bad air day and belts out average numbers
Shahrukh also has hit rock bottom with his movies.
See, even the super stars of the world falter. The greatest of them tail off in their output.
The super duper successes have had their share of down days.
So how can a diminutive editor come up with great edits every single time, issue after issue, edit after edit?
After the issue comes out, my colleagues tell me ‘It wasn’t like the last issue’ and
it feels like a prick on a balloon. Until the next Edit comes out, the bitter feeling lingers on.
On the face of it, it looks so easy. To write 460 words every month about anything I like. Put in my opinion and pass it off as an Edit. I would probably be among the privileged few if it were all so easy.
As the month trickles down to its last week, there is a nagging ache in my head. At the back of mind, the keywords keep scrolling left to right, like a lazy news ticker after the commercials stop on the 24-hour news channels. No luck yet. What can I possible write about the T20 cricket mania especially since Deccan Chargers have hardly made any breakthrough so far? Somebody at office suggests I talk about the summer in Hyderabad because we are Big Hyderabad. Huh! What about summer. Maybe I should just compare sultry, crowded and complicated Mumbai to lazy, laidback (yawn, yawn) Nawabi… and be done with this month. Oh, that’s been written a zillion times.
Emails from office stating that the Edit is pending pour into my mailbox. Gentle calls and reminders. The damn keywords refuse to take in a concrete shape. Writer’s block!
I open an empty Microsoft Word and grandly name it Big Edit and type our some random Xs and Ys give them my favourite font (usually Comic Sans J and my kind of font (usually 24) and pray fervently that some brilliant idea will dawn upon me. Words simply seem to stop somewhere between my eyebrows giving me a migraine up there on my head.
We are just two days before we put the edition to sleep and send it to print. Zero progress. I decide to sit late night to finish it. Still only three characters (two Xs and one Y) on my MS Word file. I toss and turn at 3 am and walk around to get a glass of water. I peek through the window and hear the police patrol. Maybe I should write about how the police take such good care of our area. I try to think nice things about life at the dead of the night….
The brilliant summer sun rays hit my face and the dreaded fifth of the month has finally dawned. I switch on the television and walk past the room to get hold of the remote on the table. My ankle hits the chair’s leg and an idea sparks off. The travails of an editor!
In the next 18 minutes, 568 words fast and thick. It may not be the best Edit, but it certainly one that has had its share of hard work. Too bad if you don’t appreciate all the work!
-ends
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