Aug 19, 2009

Drama In Real Life

Published in Big Hyderabad August 2009
Going for a movie in a multiplex? Be ready to go down half a kilometer at a 60 degree gradient at 25 kmph into a tunnel for eight minutes to reach the parking space. Of course, wait for your turn at the ‘automatic electronic mechanized smart sensor-activated hydraulic gate’, where 27 cars are already honking, asking you to make way.
Movie watching in Hyderabad is as tough as movie making. Both involve a lot of planning, co-ordination, logistics etc. Even a year ago, you could just decide after dinner to catch a movie. You call friends, folks, neighbor’s and even neighbor’s dog to watch a movie. Pile into a car, descend on the ticket counterwalah and then watch the movie. Simple.
Now, it is a four hour ordeal, almost like flying from one place to the other. First, you can’t just walk into a theatre like that. Either tickets are booked by some corporate for his employees, or have been booked by fans. If it is a good movie, the blackmarketeers have bought the tickets. Moral of the story: Plan in advance.
Now, you have to go down half a kilometer at a 60 degree gradient at 25 kmph speed into a tunnel for eight minutes to reach the parking space. There, by the time you await the ‘automatic electronic mechanized smart sensor-activated hydraulic gate’, about 27 cars are already honking, asking you to make way while the automatic electronic… thingy takes its own sweet time to give you the parking ticket. Now, you need to walk up 900 metres, wait for the lift for seven minutes, ride up six floors for four minutes to reach your multiplex floor. No, we haven’t gotten half-way through.
Now, you are the 12th person in the line for the security check. Sorry, now you are the 4th person in the women’s line. But wait, now you will be ushered into a dingy 1x1 feet make-shift room where the stern and indifferent woman will feel you up with her gloved hands. Thank God. I am a safe human being to the mall.
Now, you are the 12th person in the line for the security check. Sorry, now you are the 4th person in the women’s line. No, I am not repeating myself. The previous security check was for the mall. Now, you are undergoing a second round of scans for the multiplex. You are let in after being declared safe.
Finally, when you settle down to watch the movie, you will listen to ‘Too hi To Jannat Meri ring tones four times, Bommaalee two times and a tinny version of unreleased Josh title song one time. After the ringtones of the one sitting four seats to the right of you and the one in the second row ahead of you, the movie begins.
After the movie, the ride is no less thrilling. Two escalators, two lifts, four minutes of waiting for the lift; walking through the basement for seven minutes while hearing 80 cars honk at you for going slow and obstructing the traffic… Finally, when you do get on to the main road after that thrilling uphill drive while honking maniacally, the movie experience is over. This is what is called movie drama in real life!

2 comments:

  1. thats a good.
    i experienced it yesterday, INOX... i will never see a film again there.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Yeah...
    But, you forgot to add that the people seated (who have obviously wathced the movie a number of times) near you tell the entire story before the film begins and dialouges as it runs.

    Bidhu

    ReplyDelete